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He's A Keeper If You Hear A Man Say... 

HOME PAGE SOMMARIO RICERCA NEL SITO AGGIORNAMENTI PAGINA SUCCESSIVA
They Are Keepers If You Hear Them Say... 


She's A Keeper If You Hear A Woman Say . . . 



* I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
* I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!
* This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang bang.
* Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wet spot.
* Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.
* That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch pornos again?
* I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby- sitter Tracy.
* You're my daddy! You're my daddy!
* The new girl in my office is a stripper. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
* Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!
* While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
* Bar food again!? Kick ass.
* I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girl- friend has class.
* That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.
* I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.
* I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentine's day gift!
* Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.
* I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?
* It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.
* Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila shot off of Chuck's bare ass!
* My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.
* I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.
* Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!
* You are so much smarter than my father.
* If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sportscenter. 



He's A Keeper If You Hear A Man Say... 


* I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.
* I'm sick of beer, give me a fruit juice with a lemon twist.
* Great, your mother's coming to stay with us again.
* I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor knows that her drapes are open when she's getting ready for bed. Maybe I should tell her.
* No way, you weeded the garden last week. It's my turn.
* Better get rid of these old Penthouse magazines, I don't look at them anymore.
* I understand.
* This movie has too much nudity.
* Damn, we're late for church.
* No. I don't want to see your sister's tits.
* Damn these onions, pass me a tissue.
* Put some panties on, for Christ's sake! 

 

THIS IS INCREDIBLE



In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same fucking elephant.

This is for everyone who sends me those heart-warming bullshit stories.


There's a little different version of this over on Stacy's blog @

Maxine's One Day Employment
http://www.stumpysteve.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=40&t=199 

 

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