A Few Good Senior Moments - A Few Laughs
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A Few Laughs

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A Few Good Senior Moments


Garage Door
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his
zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked
up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did
you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd
closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by
the question. As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed
his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his
assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask,
'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in
there?' She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old
mini van with two flat tires..


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

An elderly gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the
doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of
hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% The elderly
gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said,
'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that
you can hear again.' The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my
family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my
will three times!'


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a
bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm
83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're
about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a
newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after
eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two
gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a
new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very
highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the
name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The
one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the
kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we
went to last night?'


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being
discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one
elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a
suitcase at his feet, who insisted he d idn't need my help to leave
the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel
him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was
meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom
changing out of her hospital gown.'


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It
cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's
perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty..'


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morris , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with
a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the
doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't
you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot
mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I
said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

One more. . .!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled
himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his
breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly,
'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'





Now , before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you know
who could use a good laugh !!

 



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