DETECTIVE COLOMBO with OBAMA
Ah, sorry to bother you
Mr. Obama, Sir. . .
Excuse
me Mr. Obama, I mean President Obama, Sir. Um . . I know you're busy,
and important and stuff. I mean, running the county is very important
and -- ah -- I hate to bother you, Sir. I will only take a minute. Ok,
Sir?
See, I have these missing pieces that are holding me up, and I was wondering,
Sir, if you could take time out of your busy schedule and help me out.
You know, no big deal, just some loose ends and things.
Hey, you have a nice place here! The wife sees houses like this on TV
all the time and says, boy, she wishes she had digs like this, you
know? Is that painting real? Really? Wow! I saw
something like that in a museum once.
Oh, sorry Sir. I didn't mean to get off the track. So if you
could just help me out a minute and give me some details, I will get right
out of your way. I want to close this case and maybe take the wife to Coney Island or something. Ever
been to Coney Island Sir? No? I
didn't think so...
Well, listen, anyway, I can't seem to get some information I need to wrap this
up. These things seem to either be "Not released" or
"Not available." I'm sure it's just an oversight or glitch or
something, so if you could you tell me where these things are -- I -- I have
them written down here somewhere -- oh wait. Sorry about the
smears. It was raining out. I'll just read it to you.
Could
you please help me find these things, Sir?
1. Occidental College records -- Not released
2. Columbia College records -- Not released
3. Columbia Thesis paper -- "Not
available"
4.. Harvard College records -- Not released
5. Selective Service Registration -- Not released
6. Medical records -- Not released
7. Illinois State Senate schedule -- Not available
8. Your Illinois State Senate records -- Not available
9. Law practice client list -- Not released
10. Certified Copy of original Birth certificate
-- Not released
11. Embossed, signed paper Certification of
Live Birth -- Not released
12. Record of your baptism -- Not avail able
Oh and one more thing Mr. President, I can't seem to find any articles you
published as editor of the Harvard Law Review,
or as a Professor at the University of Chicago.
Can you explain that to me, Sir?
Oh, but
hey -- listen! I know you're busy! If this is too much for you
right now -- I mean -- tell you what. I'll come back tomorrow.
Give you some time to get these things together, you know? I mean, I
know you're busy. I'll just let myself out. I'll be back
tomorrow. And the day after. . .
What's that Mr. President? Who wants to know these things?
We the People of the
United States of America ! You know, the ones that vote.
SEND THIS
OUT TO YOUR FRIENDS.
I WANT TO
KNOW
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