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Church camp
LAZY MEN PAY A PRICE
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I grew up as a preacher's kid, however the one thing I never wanted to do.... And never did was go to church camp. Now that I am the parent, I am glad my kid wants to go.... WooHoo... A whole week by myself, peace & quite and a clean house. Well, that week is over... She is back home now and things are back to the everyday chaos that we thrive on.
Church camp is different now than it was years ago. Now the kids all have cell phones and can keep in touch with their parents while they are gone. I guess it helps some on them from feeling homesick and it gives the parents a peace of mind also, well... Sometimes. The day cassidy left for camp, I got three pic's showing where they were at in a two hour period. The next day I had two voice mails and one pic showing this big spider they killed in her cabin!!!
Then on the third day there I get this picture.... Yeah, she lost a tooth... Now how am I supposed to explain the tooth fairy not coming there?? Don't the tooth fairy know God?
A tooth ain't the only thing she lost while at camp... She called the last day to tell me she lost both pairs of her shoes she took with her... I asked her what she was wearing... She said some shoes someone loaned her... I asked her if she checked lost and found... She wanted to know what that was.... Hummmmm... This was supposed to be a break, wasn't it? Dammed cell phones!!!! Well, she did find out what lost and found was, but apparently someone beat her to it and got her shoes so she came home with a pair of green flip flops that were not claimed.... Church camp, huh???? What happened to thou shall not steal or covet thy neighbors property?
The other day I saw a sign that said, "Need Help, call 1-800-Jesus"... Out of curiosity
I called the number... Ten minutes later a Mexican showed up in a tow truck!
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Moving to baltimore
On a flight getting ready to depart for Baltimore
Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear. "What's the matter?" Jack asked.
"I've been transferred to Baltimore , there's crazy people there. They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools and the highest crime rate."
Jack replied, "I've lived in Baltimore all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, install security cameras and alarm system, put bars on the windows and doors, buy your self a nice 9MM glock, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the world."
The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"
"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."
WOODEN LEG INSURANCE -
A man and his wife, moved back home to Missouri , from Texas . The husband had a wooden leg, and to insure it back in Texas, it cost them $2000. per year!
When they arrived in Missouri , they went to an insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure his wooden leg.
The agent looked it up on the computer and said: '$39.'
The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Missouri to insure it because it cost him $2000 in Texas !
The insurance agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system above it, is $39... You just have to know how to describe it!'
(Those Show Me folks know how "to git 'er done"; don't
they?
Think she's pissed???
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