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World's Whackiest Holidays
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I only wish this was sung by a woman instead of a man!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=OGhHfPoY-h8
Got your headphone on and speakers up?
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Some kids are just born with it….
Go to the link below and watch this as Tennessee Ernie
Ford sings with his son Brian sitting by him. Watch it
all the way to the END, it’s great!
For those of you who remember this great voice (and for
those who don't,but would like to hear it) I submit to
you Mr. Tennessee Ernie Ford, andhis son Brian,
performing on Television back in the 50's. Brian really
gets
with it, and almost breaks up his Dad. This is priceless... |
Ghosts - Michael Jackson (40 min. movie)
Weird?! please don't tell anyone ... might blemish my reputation ...
and a big DITTO on the feeling better part. I know that case of the
shits can be a royal pain in the ass (pun intended) ...
Comedian Ben Morrison's critically acclaimed one-man show about
getting sick with Crohn's Disease. It's the funniest show about
degenerative intestinal disease ever ...
http://video.google.com/videoplay?
docid=-6746485401774154019
Something is starting to smell mighty fishy here ....
http://www.youtube.com/v/
z2GkN8XZ9J8&fs=1 |
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TENNESSEE
ERNIE FORD | |
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THE
NEW GM (GOVERNMENT MOTORS) CAR
In a special news conference yesterday, Government
Motors announced its new concept car... The new GM (Government
Motors) proudly introduces the 2010 Obama...
This car runs on hot air and broken promises. It has
three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left
turns. It comes complete with two Teleprompters
programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of
any violations. The transparent canopy reveals the
plastic smiles still on the faces of all the
"happy" Democrat owners. | |
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Disorder In Court
German View on Islam
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These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
___________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
_____________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
__________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one...
______________ __ _______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
_______________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______ _____ _______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure ?
WIT NESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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German View on Islam
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> > *This is by far the best explanation of the Muslim terrorist situation
> > I have ever read. His references to past history are accurate and clear. Not long, easy to understand, and well worth the read. The author of this email is Paul E. Marek.
Larry C
> >
> >
> >
> > *A German's View on Islam*
> >
> >
> >
> > *A man, whose family was German aristocracy prior to World War II,
> > owned a number of large industries and estates.. When asked how many
> > German people were true Nazis, the answer he gave can guide our
> > attitude toward fanaticism.*
> >
> >
> >
> > * "Very few people were true Nazis,' he said, 'but many enjoyed the
> > return of German pride, and many more were too busy to care. I was one
> > of those who just thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So, the
> > majority just sat back and let it all happen.*
> >
> > *Then, before we knew it, they owned us, and we had lost control,
> > and the end of the world had come. My family lost everything. I ended
> > up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories".*
> >
> >
> >
> > *We are told again and again by 'experts' and 'talking heads' that
> > Islam is the religion of peace, and that the vast majority* *of
> > Muslims just want to live in peace. Although this unqualified
> > assertion may be true, it is entirely irrelevant.*
> >
> > *It is meaningless fluff, meant to make us feel better, and meant to
> > somehow diminish the spectra of fanatics rampaging across the globe in
> > the name of Islam.*
> >
> >
> >
> > *The fact is that the fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history.
> > It is the fanatics who march. It is the fanatics who wage any one of
> > 50 shooting wars worldwide. It is the fanatics who systematically
> > slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa and are
> > gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave. It is
> > the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder or honor-kill. It is the
> > fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who
> > zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and
> > homosexuals. It is the fanatics who teach their young to kill and to
> > become suicide bombers.*
> >
> >
> >
> > *The hard quantifiable fact is that the peaceful majority, the 'silent
> > majority,' is cowed and extraneous.*
> >
> >
> >
> > *Communist Russia was comprised of Russians who just wanted to live in
> > peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder of
> > about 20 million people. The peaceful majority were irrelevant. *
> >
> >
> >
> > * China 's huge population was peaceful as well, but Chinese
> > Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 million people.*
> >
> >
> >
> > *The average Japanese individual prior to World War II was not a
> > war-mongering sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way
> > across South East Asia in an orgy of killing that included the
> > systematic murder of 12 million Chinese civilians; most killed by
> > sword, shovel, and bayonet.*
> >
> >
> >
> > *And who can forget Rwanda , which collapsed into butchery. Could it
> > not be said that the majority of Rwandans were 'peace loving'? *
> >
> >
> >
> > *History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt, yet for all
> > our powers of reason we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of
> > points: Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their
> > silence. Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't
> > speak up, because like my friend from Germany , they will awaken one
> > day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world
> > will have begun. *
> >
> >
> >
> > *Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Serbs,
> > Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians, Algerians and many
> > others have died because the peaceful majority did not speak up until
> > it was too late. _*_ _* *
> >
> >
> >
> > *As for us who watch it all unfold, we must pay attention to the only
> > group that counts; the fanatics who threaten our way of life.*
> >
> >
> >
> > *Lastly, anyone who doubts that the issue is serious and just deletes
> > this email without sending it on is contributing to the passiveness
> > that allows the problems to expand. So, extend yourself a bit and
> > send this on and on and on! Let us hope that thousands, world wide,
> > read this and think about it, and send it on before it's too late.*
> >
> >
> >
> > *The first thing the fanatics will do to the silent majority is to
> > disarm them.*
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